Boyfriend has no degree, should I still marry him ?
Hello, I am in a tough spot. My boyfriend and I plan to get married soon. But, he does not have a degree or any post secondary schooling. I feel he could do better, and if we plan to have kids. Him getting a better job would really help us in the long run. I am thinking of leaving him, because I don’t think he will study to get a degree and a better job. What should I do ?
Hello, and thanks for reaching out to us.
This is a tricky on, but I understand where you are coming from. As a guy myself who was in the same position. Sometimes people get comfortable with their jobs. They feel, what’s the point of spending all this time learning only to get a 20-30 thousand dollar increase. I know in my base, education doubled my salary. Maybe this is something you should bring up to him.
Also, if he studies for a full degree. He has to decide how he would do it ? Does he work and then go to school in the evenings ? Does he quit his job and go to school full time. There are a lot of questions he would have to ask himself. And, he would need your support on as well. Are you okay supporting him and yourselves if we goes to school full time ?
I have seen people take night classes, and I can say it is fairly difficult if you have a stressful 9-5 job. Because, by the time you are done, the last thing you want is to attend a class and learn something new. People have done it, but these people were determined to improve their careers and lives. Or they really disliked their current jobs and wanted something more.
I’m not sure how long your relationship has been going on for. I’m taking it’s been awhile if you are getting to the stages of marriage. But there are a lot of questions you both need to ask yourselves. As getting a degree while you both get married won’t be easy.
If you plan on leaving him because he doesn’t have a degree I don’t think I can agree on that decision. I know plenty of people that work jobs without degree’s or have started their own businesses. Sure, some of them learned from experience or works with others that did have degrees. And, so they learned a lot from them. But, breaking up with someone because of their career is a tough one.
If you haven’t already you should have a talk about it. See how he feels about his career, look at costs. Can you afford a marriage, kids, a home etc… Maybe you both can right now, or maybe you might not be able too. But, it all starts with having a discussion to see how your finances will support you.
At the end of the day talking it out will be the best coarse of action. And, then take it from there if you feel the future you want can’t be supported with the current situation. Wishing you the best with everything and hoping it works out.