Relationship Advice

I like my boyfriend, but he isn’t the most attractive?

So I got an email from someone, who “loves” her boyfriend’s personality, but hates his looks!

I just don’t know what to do. My boyfriend is so nice to me and he’s SO sweet, and it just makes me feel like a bitch.
He just isn’t that physically appealing. But I like him. I don’t know why, but it just keeps popping up in the back of my mind that he’s a little…yeah you know what I mean. Is there any way to stop thinking he’s gross? Because I really want to get over it!

Well to start off girl be HAPPY you even have a boyfriend. And on top of that one where you LIKE who he is and not how he looks. You’ll find tons of good looking guys that are douchebags aka with no personality. So do you really have a problem? In my mind not really, because there are ways to fix it.

First off what is it that you don’t like? If he doesn’t take care of himself, then why not offer ways to improve it? Some guys don’t use cleansers for the face like a face wash. So just buy him one and tell him it keeps the face clean. Maybe give him tips on his clothes and dress wear. I’ve had girls give me nice clothes and ones that fit very well or suit my body type. I didn’t take it as an offensive thing, it just means those girls know what will make me look at my best.

On the other hand maybe you are better off leaving the guy. I mean it’s a little important to feel or be attracted on a physical level to each other. But remember looks only last for so long. What will you do if you married the guy and 15 years down the road his and YOUR looks fade. And with age LOOKS do fade, then will you leave him or a guy then too? I think at some point in time we have to accept this is what we get, as a man and woman. And you have to either accept it or take your chances. If you’re young you might have a chance at finding someone else, but if you’ve dated then you know it’s a VERY hard and long process to find Mr and Ms Right. So is it worth it to leave him?

I’ve been in your spot before as a guy, where the girl’s personality is awesome and she is so much fun to hang out with. But, she isn’t the best looking or I’d think I could do better looks wise. Well in some form I do regret it, because over time you realize finding someone with that same personality is actually very hard to find. I think it also comes with a age when you get closer to your 30’s, that’s when you realize looks don’t matter. People realize that it’s going to be either choose someone for looks or personality. Finding both in a person is very RARE, and more like winning a lottery. So people choose personality, because when you’re old and gray personality is what will get you through the relationship.

In one way yes, because then you give him the chance to find someone that likes him for the WAY he is! Both looks and personality. But on the other hand you could leave him for his looks and totally regret it later, and by then it may be too late to get back with him. I think many women would say look at his positive qualities to out-due his lack in looks. Also, if you truly did love him I don’t think you would care how he looks. I mean look at all of the other millions of women, who get married to a good looking guy. Look at the men now… after 10+ years, they all have less hair, stomach’s hanging out and are old! But you don’t see all of the women going on a divorce hunt and marrying new and younger men. They still “love” the man they chose even after his looks have faded away. And it’s the same for the men, their wives looks will have faded quite a bit. But you don’t see all of these men suddenly leaving women.

I guess the bottom line is that you have a choice to accept him as he is or leave him. But I get the sense that you are not really in “love” with the guy. If you were, then you wouldn’t be questioning his looks or have anything negative to say about him. Since you do, I get the feeling you just are not 100% into the guy. I’ve seen women that are truly in love with a guy, and they never have anything negative to say about their man. And that too, when other people might think the guy isn’t as good looking as her. I’d say give it a month and if you still feel the same way, then it’s time to break up so it gives you both a chance to find someone else.