Relationship Advice

Why guys care about there friends more then there Girlfriend?

So this week I got an email where a girl felt rejected by her boyfriend because of his friends.

I have notice something about my now ex all he cares about is his friends. I told him about it he said he cares about me and he said he hates seeing me mad.
But then his friend is saying to him I am trying to make him my bitch.
I got mad and I find his friend annoying, so he broke up with me because he said it wasn’t working

Well to start off, I have to say “us guys” do LIKE spending time with our friends. Guys just can’t simply sit around at home and express their feelings and talk and chat non stop. We are the type where we want to huddle up with other guys, watch the game, eat wings, pig out, and laugh. That doesn’t mean we hate you as our girlfriends, wives etc… It just means it’s “guys night out” or a way for a guy to FEEL like a guy. So we go out and hang out with other guys to almost become normal again.

But, that doesn’t mean a guy should be neglecting a girl/wife, just because he wants some away time to himself. In your case, I think the friend senses he is going to lose his friend to you. And, so he does what is best… he manipulates his friend into believing things that might not be true. But you also have to look at it in this way, if you and the friend aren’t getting along. Then do you still want a relationship with the guy you like? Most of us WANT our friends to like the girl/guy we like too. And, if they don’t, then this is where problems start to come up. It’s the same for girls, they chat and gossip about each girlfriends guy and if he is good/hot/cool etc.. Guys to the same too, we will tell our guy friends if the girl is cool or not.

In this case you’re labeled badly and it’s going to be hard for the guy to choose you over his friends. The saying goes.. “friends before hoes”. Not that you are a hoe, but really what I’m pointing at is that friends will choose friends over a new relationship for the most part. Otherwise, he has 3 choices, lose you, lose his friend or lose both of you. In my opinion as hard as it might seem and feel, I think you need to drop the guy too and move on. Let’s face it, if he isn’t going to fight for you, then he’s not worth it.

He could be going through some hard and tough problems at the moment too. I personally think the stress of you hating is friend and his friend hating you has gotten to him. I’m sure he wants to spend time with both of you, but probably is tired of hearing both of you talk crap and he realized he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. He also might be new to relationships, because more experienced people would know how to handle a situation of this sort. In my case, as a man, I would make it very clear with the woman of what I want and listen to what she wants. There needs to be VERY good communication here so both sides know what is going on.

So I’m sorry to say, but I think you both have a lot of growing up to do. He needs to learn to handle the stress if he wants to be in a relationship, and you need to be more open with letting the guy have some “guy” time. But in the end, if he has left you then it’s his loss too. It just means the guy didn’t have the experience to be able to handle a relationship. Take this as a lesson and use it well for your next relationship.