Relationship Advice

Why does my crush stare at me?

I get this a lot not just in emails, but from women asking for advice in person a lot. And it’s the same darn question…….. “Why does my crush stare at me?” Sometimes it’s not even their crush, but that person stares at them. Maybe, that person looks away when they are caught.

And this goes both ways for men and woman, as both genders do it quite a lot.

One girl wrote:

So there’s a guy who stares at me every time we pass each other. Our eyes would meet and we would just hold them there till I would look away. He sometimes looks starstruck when he watches me. He greeted me lightly twice a while back but I got extremely shy to even reply. And other times he would Look at me then ignore me. This started a couple months back when I first noticed him staring at me.

What does this mean? Why does he do this?

I am guilty of having done this many times actually in the past. In fact, I did this a few months ago and had to kinda slap myself to realize I was being stupid. It’s sometimes good to make eye contact to create a connection with the person. You’re trying to alert them that you have noticed them. That’s when you want to approach them and start a conversation. In my case I got so lost in her eyes and the truth is I liked that girl. So I can’t help but stare and I always go for the eyes, because to me it feels like I am communicating with her some how.

It’s hard to explain, but you probably get the feeling when he is staring into your eyes starstruck as you say… that’s how I am with this 1 girl. I get lost in her eyes… Now, as a guy this normally doesn’t happen very easily. I think women notice eye contact better than men do, we just stare not knowing it. But women can sense their own body language a lot better. This guy likes you, but he might be a bit shy and doesn’t know how to approach or know how to start a conversation with you. Deep down this guy wants to TALK to you and get to know you. But either he’s scared, because you might not feel the same or that he just is a bit shy and doesn’t know how to talk to you.

He might even be nervous, I mean when we like someone or are attracted we become nervous and don’t know how to react sometimes. I think it’s the fact that we ALL want to put in a AWESOME first impression, so you become less relaxed and more stressed.

Now if you don’t like this guy and he’s staring at you. All you can do is ignore him and never give him a glance again. Sure it will be a rude gesture, but that’s a way to let the guy know you are not interested in him at all. Making further glances just makes it seems like you are interested in him especially if he catches you looking.

But he definitely likes you girl…
And, I would say if he doesn’t talk to you. Then maybe you should talk to him, as shy guys or maybe reserved guys need more signs. If you talk to him it’s going to let him pickup on the fact that you are also interested. And, that’s when he may get comfortable enough to open up and even ask you out.
He is shy and waiting for you to make a move. If you are attracted to him make moves. It doesn’t mean you have to ask him out, but you need to drop the hint or be more straight forward. Some guys just don’t see the signs very easily, so you just got to be a bit more clear.

Best of luck!


  • Tanya

    I like my crush he like me as friend but Daniel is cute handsome

    • K3N

      You may have to move on if he only likes you as a friend.

      Can’t make someone like you if they don’t.

  • habs

    Hi i noticed him staring and glancing at me alot like 5 times and im sure hes not assuming some old memories :/ cuz the previous girl he liked was 2 years ago so he mustve got over it. anyways i notived everytime he comes through the doors he always noticed and looks at me first……ALWAYS..and then he proceed to the desk infront me and steal glance and even stare at me when i dont look which happen 3 days straight. He stared at me when i didnt look and i catch him look at me he quickly looks away and i look corner of my eye but with turniing my head and see he still looking and staring at me. he cant fidget because he has his laptop he types on everythime i see him come :p haha… nice escape and yday i notived when it was brk my friend was there and so was he like 5 seats away facing me his legs body facing me..maybe he knows my mate ..Oh wai8 he does lol he seen me with her so i think he kneew his whole body turned to me i coudlnt look at all toooooooo shy :3 uhh gosh he had his laptop on his lap typing when he really can do it on a desk :v haah maybe to steal glances then he went away after 15 min maybe thought that i would make a move?? That was like last week before we broke up for easter holidays fell for him then 🙂 so can you please say if he does possibly have a crush on me or lke me? because i notived him look at me non stop 6 times and gettin caught alot haha i thiught it was jus casual until he keept doing it everytime he sees me so then i feel for himm thinking he might to

    • K3N

      Have you ever thought of talking to him?
      If he’s shy or unsure, the best thing you can do is strike up a conversation with him. Just really about anything…

      One of you has to break the ice. Or this will really go no where. Maybe he just needs to be sure you also want to talk to him. If that’s the case the best thing you can do is just create small talk with him. And, then let things just progress and flow from there.

  • jessica

    Umm hi, I m jessica , I have a crush , we were really good friends until I told him that I hv some feeling to u .. he just said i dont mind , Idk what that meaning is anyway , I mesg. Him several times which he blocked me.. but at school I sometimes see him and he looks at me , and makes crazt things next to me and ma friends says that he wants to get ur attention. What do I hv to do ? I tried to talk to him but he ignored me.. idl plz help me !

    • K3N

      Well Jessica it depends firstly on how old you both are right now. If we’re talking high school than this is normal.

      But mature people don’t normally act like this at all.

      I want to give you props for having the guts to tell him you like him. Not many women do that and I think you should have no regrets at all for doing so.

      My guess is that he either doesn’t feel the same way about you. Or he doesn’t know how to act towards you now. Maybe he’s shy and doesn’t know how to react or takes a step back out of fear. And, at the same time he still wants your attention.

      Honestly, this may sound childish, but you should ignore him back. Just don’t acknowledge him for a good week. Don’t look at him, talk to him just treat him like a stranger.

      That will either push him to chase after you and be a man about it. Or he will just not talk to you again either. But it seems like you both are at that age where you’re in high school and people just aren’t mature with dating.

      I don’t know how much dating experience he has, but it could be that he has no idea what the heck he is doing. In that case sometimes it’s best to leave a crush a crush till a new crush comes along and actually wants you back too.

  • Jackie

    I have a crush on this one guy and he always stares at me nonstop. I ride the same bus as him and I also have choir with him. So all a sudden I decided to text him and say hey u seem pretty cool we should talk and he said “oh ok.” Idk how he meant it. Is he not really interested in me or something?

    • K3N

      Hey Jackie,

      Well my guess would be that since you messaged him out of no where. Maybe he wasn’t expecting you to say something like that?

      I mean if someone I don’t talk to too much said “hey let’s talk”. I’d think “okay…. why is she asking me this?”

      You got to remember that men are usually not as good with signs as women are. So he might have no idea that you even like him at all.

      If you want to know if he likes you or not. Just approach him and talk to him. He hopefully will feel more comfortable after you two talk a few times and might open up more.

      That gives you or him and opening to hang out outside school and what not.

  • Samantha

    I have this huge crush on this hot guy and its been going on for some time now. He plays first team of our varsity football club. What is interesting is that he always makes sure that he gets my attention. Everytime I wall in the room, I see he staring at me from the very moment I get in to the room right till the moment I take a seat. He always makes sure that he starts a conversation with me and we mostly end up talking about our personal life. We are both single and he really likes visiting me at my dorm but I try not to move too quickly. But what strikes me the most is how he likes physical contact, like he will mess up my hair knowing that I will push him around or even give him a gentle slap on the arm. Last month we were on a very long bus trip for a sports tour and throughout the trip he kept texting me, asking me to sit with him. Now another sports tour is coming, should I sit with him? He is a very sweet guy and he looks like he cares about me.

    • K3N

      Hi Samantha,

      To start off, I think next time you are on the bus. You should sit next to him especially if he is saving you a seat.

      Why not? I mean it’s a great chance to actually have a good conversation with him. It will allow you to see if there is some type of chemistry there for you.

      In terms of him being touchy, it’s just his way of flirting with you. He wants you to push him back, so that you’re also getting touchy feely with him.

      I would say take it slow, but spend more time getting to know him. If you are actually interested in him, then get to know him some more. And, if he actually likes you. Then, he will also ask you questions and want to get to know more about you.

      Good luck! 🙂